


Game On!

by Hughville



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 22:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hughville/pseuds/Hughville
Summary: House is in a funk and Wilson enlists Cameron's help to get him out of it.





	Game On!

**Author's Note:**

> chocolate_frapp and I wrote this. It helps to know the following about this one-shot:  
> House never disbanded the original team  
> House never went to Mayfield  
> House never dated Cuddy  
> Wilson never had cancer  
> Enjoy!

**May, 2014**  
Bright sunlight touched everything. The sky was an intense shade of blue no artist could hope to capture. Birds sang sweetly and people laughed as they walked along. The whole world seemed filled with joy and warmth.  
Inside his apartment, House lay on his back on his bed watching the dust motes float in the narrow shaft of sunlight that peeked through the curtains of his bedroom. His iPhone began to play _Devil Woman_ but he ignored it. It was just Cuddy calling to screech at him about something inane like clinic duty. House rolled over and pulled the extra pillow over his head. He didn’t want to go to work. The recent patients were all boring and the medical puzzles all too easy to solve. His team was so adept now they really didn’t even need him. No one needed him. He groaned. Now he was no better than anyone else wallowing in self pity.  
Slowly, he sat up and pushed the covers aside. As he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, pain flared up from his thigh and blazed through him. He gasped and gripped the blankets to keep from passing out. Carefully he stood, gripping his right thigh, and slowly made his way down the hall to the living room. He sat down on the couch and rubbed his leg. Looking up at the top of the bookcase, he could just see the edge of the tan box that held his bottles of morphine. He leaned back and kneaded his thigh then grabbed a bottle of Vicodin off the coffee table. Popping the top off he shook three white tablets into his palm. He stared at them before tossing them into his mouth and swallowing them down. He stretched out on the couch and waited for the pain to recede to a bearable level. He was on the verge of sleep when he heard a key click in the lock and his front door open. Light footsteps sounded and the door closed. A moment later, Cameron sat down on the coffee table. House knew it was her from the clean scent that always emanated from her.  
“No patient,” he told her without opening his eyes. “Not coming in.”  
“We have a patient and this was taped to your door,” she replied.  
House opened his eyes and snatched the paper from her. He squinted at Wilson’s spiky handwriting.  
_Come out and play._  
A slow smile spread across House’s face as he read the rest.  
_Cars require gasoline. Gasoline is made from oil. Oil is created underground. So, where is your car?_  
He sat up, thrust the paper at Cameron and then slowly stood.  
“Wait here,” he told her. “We’re going to get my car and then I’m going to get Wilson.”  
Cameron nodded and once he was out of sight, she smiled.  
***  
He went over to where his car (the sporty red one the Arnello brothers gave him) had been parked this morning, pulled up short, and his jaw dropped. Where the hell was his car??!  
All he saw was a yellow legal pad-sized piece of paper sitting on the garage floor. He speared it with his cane, picking it up. It read, _Don’t clap along if…._ and there was an iPod duct taped to the paper.  
House quickly disconnected his earbuds from his own iPod and plugged the other one in and pressed play. He immediately heard _Happy_ by Pharrell.  
“Damnit, Wilson knows that song gets on my nerves,” he muttered. “Obviously, he’s saying my car is someplace that has a roof because of that ridiculous ‘room without a roof’ line but where?”  
Cameron leaned against her car and flipped her long red hair over her shoulder. She worked with House long enough to let him sort it out. She could wait.  
***  
House and Cameron spent the rest of the day looking for his beloved ‘65 Corvette with no success. Finally, as the sun set, they drove to the hospital.  
House turned slightly in the passenger seat of Cameron’s car and looked at her.  
“You’re in on this,” he accused softly.  
She kept her eyes on the traffic ahead of them. “Why would I do something like this?”  
“Oh, because you and Wilson think I’m in a funk and you’ve put your oh-so-caring heads together to get me out of it.”  
A slight smile curved her soft, pink lips. “I thought that was something only he and Cuddy did,” she replied.  
She drove into the hospital parking lot and parked in House’s space. They got out and went into the hospital. Cameron followed him into the elevator and then into Wilson’s office.  
House tossed the notes and iPod on his best friend’s desk. Wilson looked up in surprise. He looked over the notes and then at House.  
“Wow,” he said with a furrowed brow. “I thought for sure you’d figure this out. You’re slipping in your old age.”  
“Where. Is. My. Car?” House ground out.  
Wilson leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “Normally you’d get something like this. I’m genuinely concerned about you.”  
“No you are not,” House responded with disgust. “Car. Now.”  
“Oh, I guess I should have shared the rules of this game. You only get a clue by playing Truth or Dare.”  
“Oh, so that’s how this is going to go? You’re going to try to one up The Master?”  
Wilson nodded. Cameron stifled a laugh behind House.  
“Dare,” House said defiantly.  
“Kiss Cameron,” Wilson said. “With tongue.”  
House turned, pulled Cameron into his arms and kissed her. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and hers slid along his. Desire flamed through him as she kissed him back. A soft purring sound emanated from her and caused House to deepen the kiss. Finally, he sucked on her bottom lip before pulling away. He looked at Cameron. Her pupils were dilated, her cheeks stained with color, and her lips swollen. House swallowed and took a moment to get himself under control.  
“Clue,” he breathed.  
“Body shop,” Wilson told him amusement evident in his voice.  
House stared at Cameron. She stared back.  
“Let’s go,” he told her.  
As Cameron drove over to the body shop with House to pick up his car, she couldn’t shake the feelings of how arousing that kiss was. She had fantasies about kissing House (and doing lots of other things with him, too) but that kiss was just amazing.  
_For crying out loud, get a grip on yourself before you cause a car accident_ ,” she thought to herself. _Anyway he’ll be even more insufferable than usual if he knows how much it affected me._  
House had, of course, already noticed this. The fact that Cameron had been very quiet the whole drive over didn’t help.  
House cleared his throat as they pulled into the body shop. “Hey, Cameron,” he grinned devilishly. “How’d you like to help me get back at Wilson?”  
Cameron turned to look at him with wide eyes. “You want me to get involved with one of your games?”  
House snorted. “Oh, save the wide-eyed Bambi look. You’re already involved. I want you to come over to the dark side.” He leaned in close to her and smiled a slow, sexy smile. “Admit it, you like the dark side.”  
She swallowed and nodded. House raised his eyebrows and sat back.  
“Now, let’s go get my car,” he said as he opened the door and got out.  
The body shop was noisy but House saw his Corvette in a back corner. He jerked his head toward the office and Cameron went to get the keys for him. Slowly, he approached the car, being careful not to get in the way of any of the workers. He circled his car, looking underneath and inside. There didn’t seem to be any booby traps but surely Wilson wouldn’t do anything to a classic car. He jumped slightly when Cameron touched his shoulder.  
“The owner says you have to pay the bill before you can have the keys,” she told him. “I tried to pay but he says you have to be the one to do it.”  
House turned and stalked toward the office. He flung open the door and limped up to the counter. A slim man covered in oil and tattoos pushed a bill toward him. House looked at the bill. Wilson had the car tuned up and detailed. He also had a new car horn installed. House pulled his wallet out and thrust a credit card at the owner. A few minutes later, House pulled out of the body shop parking lot with Cameron following him in her car. Carefully he pressed the horn. A loud wolf whistle sounded. House began to laugh as he merged with traffic. He and Cameron would meet up at his apartment to plan his retaliation for Wilson.  
“What struck me as odd is I would think Wilson would take this as an opportunity to dun you for a lot of money but he didn’t,” Cameron said once they were back at House’s place. “All he charged you was three dollars and seventeen cents.”  
House made a slight snarfing noise while trying to take a sip of coffee. “I don’t believe I almost missed that.”  
“What? Is there some significance to St. Patrick’s day with you and him?”  
“Not St. Patrick’s day.” House put his coffee down on the kitchen counter. “His first address when I met him was 317 Regent Street. That’s where he and wife number one lived for years. I’m going over there.”  
“I’m sure there are people living in that house now who aren’t necessarily going to want to open up their door to a big guy with a cane and a lousy disposition,” Cameron said. “They’d be far more likely to say ‘yes’ to, say, a pretty, sweet woman, wouldn’t they?” It was Cameron’s turn to grin mischievously.  
House arched his eyebrows. “Damn.” He smiled broadly. “You’re good.” His eyes twinkled.  
“Like you said,” she told him. “The dark side is fun.”  
He started toward the front door when he noticed one of his guitars missing. It was the first guitar he owned. Cameron was at the door and turned to look at him. Slowly, he walked over to the wall behind his piano.  
“I don’t suppose my guitar is at Wilson’s old place?” he asked without turning around.  
“Your guitar is missing?”  
House turned and looked at her with narrowed eyes. “You’re playing both sides.”  
She shrugged and smiled.  
They arrived at the condo on Regent Street. There was a For Sale sign in the tiny front yard. A pretty young woman stood on the top step and smiled at them as they approached.  
“Afternoon, Doctor House,” she said as she held out a key.  
“How much did Wilson pay you?” he asked as he took it.  
“Enough,” she smiled.  
House unlocked the front door and went inside. It was shadowy and smelled faintly of furniture polish. His guitar hung from the stair rail leading up to the second floor.  
House inclined his head at Cameron. She laughed softly and got the guitar. As she handed it to him, he noticed a note taped to the back. This time it was written in Cameron’s loopy handwriting. He glared at her but she simply grinned at him.  
“Music is the key,” he read and then looked up at her. “He’s at my apartment right now stealing something, isn’t he?”  
She shrugged and smiled wider.  
“Come on,” he growled.  
She followed him out and skipped down the stairs behind him. He carefully stowed his guitar in the trunk of the Corvette. Cameron got in and he burned rubber as he sped away.  
“Where are we going?” Cameron shouted over the sound of the wind.  
“Wilson’s.”  
They arrived at Wilson’s apartment and House looked for his car. When he saw it wasn’t there, he sent Cameron in with a message of his own. She returned almost half an hour later with a locked box. Once she was in the car, House sped out of the parking lot.  
As they sat at a red light, she pried opened the box with a hair pin from her purse.  
“Baseball cards?” she asked. “Why does he have baseball cards stored in his home safe?”  
“They are all signed vintage cards,” House told her as the light turned green and he changed gears. “Those cards are worth thousands. His grandfather started the collection years ago.”  
Cameron shook her head, closed the box and locked it.  
They returned to House’s apartment after a brief stop and he convinced Cameron to sleep on his couch. They watched television and ordered Indian food for dinner. Cameron was cleaning up when House’s door slammed open. Wilson stomped in, his face red and House’s note clenched in his fist.  
“Nooooobody expects the Wilson inquisition!” House yelled, laughing.  
“Where are my cards?!?”  
“Read the note,” House told him. “Or would you rather play Truth or Dare?”  
Wilson breathed deeply several times before smoothing out the note and reading it aloud. “Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack. I don't care if I never get back.”  
House watched him closely. Cameron leaned against the door jamb leading to the kitchen, smothering a giggle.  
“You’re helping him,” Wilson practically snarled at her. “You were supposed to be helping me.”  
“I am double agent,” she said in a terrible Russian accent.  
“Ve make beeg trouble for moose and sqvirrel,” House added in an even sillier Russian accent.  
Wilson narrowed his eyes and read over the note again. He spun on his heel and left. Cameron walked over and closed the door.  
“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me his next move, are you?” he asked as she sat back down beside him and took the remote from him.  
“Nope,” she said cheerfully as she changed the channels.  
The next morning House woke to the smell of bacon. He swallowed a couple Vicodin and made his way slowly to the kitchen. Cameron was sitting on the butcher block island with a plate of bacon and a note. House took two slices of bacon and nodded at her.  
She shook her head. “Can’t read it to you until you find what’s missing,” she told him.  
“You could go buy us some coffee while I look,” he told her. “I refuse to drink that swill you call coffee.”  
She reached behind her back and pulled out a take out cup of coffee. He grunted and took it from her. He leaned back against the refrigerator and thought. What could Wilson take that was equal to the baseball cards? Books? House didn’t have any worth taking. Then it hit him. He thrust the cup at Cameron who grabbed it in time. He went to the closet where he kept his most valuable blues albums. The box was gone.  
“FUCK!!!!!!!” he shouted then jumped slightly when Cameron tapped him on the shoulder. She held out the note. This time it was typed out.  
_Got the blues? Only one thing can cure them_.  
House leaned his head against the closet door. “Please tell me he isn’t going to ruin them,” he said softly.  
“That’s not the point of this,” Cameron told him. “Now go get dressed so we can get your albums back.” She kissed him gently on the cheek.  
He turned and leaned his head against hers. “Tell me where he hid them.”  
“No,” she breathed. “Mainly because he didn’t hide them.”  
He pulled back and stared at her in shock. She winked at him and turned to walk over to the couch. He shook his head and went to get dressed. His sweet, caring Cameron had a nefarious streak a mile wide. It made him like her even more.  
***  
“Oh, you’re Dr. Wilson!” The security guard at the grocery store sounded surprised. “That House guy paid me to make sure no one but you touched that locked box he stuck behind the Cracker Jack boxes.”  
Wilson unlocked the metal box and quickly looked through all his grandfather’s baseball cards. They were all there and in perfect shape, from Sandy Koufax to Honus Wagner. Wilson breathed a huge sigh of relief.  
While driving back to his office, he went somewhat out of his way so he could drive by House’s place but he decided not to stop off and talk to him until later, he needed to think up another trick. He couldn’t help noticing the window to House’s living room was open and he heard him playing his guitar.  
Cameron saw House’s look of concentration and deep affection as he played. It was clear music touched his heart in a way little to nothing else did and she felt oddly privileged to see him with an emotional wall down like this.  
After he finished the song, she said softly, “That’s a beautiful song. What is it?”  
“You young kids don’t know _Little Wing_ by Jimi Hendrix ?” House shook his head. “I’m just glad we got my albums out from behind the anti-depressants in the hospital pharmacy. My idea of an anti-depressant is a good drink, a rare New York cut steak, chocolate raspberry passionfruit cake and sex.”  
***  
Wilson opened the door to his office. “Oh, I don’t believe this!!”  
His _Vertigo_ poster had been taken out of the frame and replaced by some unknown person’s My Little Pony porn art.  
Written in House’s handwriting directly under some unicorn doing something especially rude with her horn was _DO I MAKE YOU HORNY?_  
The next morning, Wilson went over to House’s office. He found him sitting at his desk with his feet up, twirling his cane around and looking smug as hell.  
“Okay, House, where’s my poster?”  
“You seem to have forgotten the truth or dare part of this game, “ House smirked. “I’m going to up the ante. If you pick truth, I’ll give you a clue, but it’s going to be a really difficult clue which I don’t think you’re going to figure out, plus the question I’m going to ask you is one I can guarantee you’re not gonna want to give me an honest answer to. However, if you pick dare, I’m going to out and out tell you where your poster for the most overrated movie Hitchcock ever did is, but my dare is you have to kiss somebody with tongue, like you mean it, and it’s not Cameron.”  
“Is that why she’s not here?” Wilson asked putting his hands on his hips.  
“That, plus she actually had a patient she had to take care of.”  
“Who is it? Who are you going to make me kiss?”  
“Uh-uh, I’m only going to tell you who it is if you decide to pick dare.”  
“That’s not fair! And _Vertigo_ is not overrated!”  
“ _Psycho_ ’s better. Hell, _Marnie_ ’s better.”  
Wilson sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then he waved his hand in a gesture of surrender. “Fine, tell me who I have to kiss so I can get my poster back. It’s the one that hung at Grauman's Chinese Theater at the movie’s premiere. It’s valuable so it better be somewhere safe, even if you do think the film is overrated which it isn’t.”  
“Say it.”  
Wilson rolled his eyes. “Dare.”  
Slowly House came to stand in front of Wilson. For a moment House’s presence made Wilson’s heart flutter. When he leaned in, Wilson nearly gasped. House’s gaze locked on Wilson’s parted lips.  
“Me,” House breathed. “You have to kiss me. With tongue.”  
An intense desire whipped through Wilson like a bolt of lightning.  
He took a small step forward, craned his neck slightly and kissed House on the lips, feather light at first, then more firmly, opened his mouth a bit wider and gently slipped his tongue forward.  
A low, affectionate sound, halfway between a sigh and a moan came from House’s throat and both their tongues explored each other’s mouths, stroking and caressing. Their arms wrapped around each other. Time seemed to go into slow motion.  
Wilson slowly stepped back. House smiled, one of his rare sweet smiles without a trace of sarcasm.  
Wilson took a sharp breath. “That…” he paused, “...was nice.” His face felt hot and he wondered if he was blushing.  
House’s voice sounded a little huskier than usual. “Yeah, it was.” His blue eyes were dilated.  
Wilson slid his hands down House’s arms and grasped his hands. “Now, where is my poster?” he asked softly.  
“Tease,” House laughed softly. “It’s under the couch in your office.”  
Wilson laughed and pulled House in for another kiss, this one a soft fleeting brush of lips. He released House’s hands and slowly walked out. House touched his mouth.  
“You owe me one hundred dollars,” Cameron commented from the doorway to the conference room. “He kissed you twice. He is bi.”  
She sauntered in and stood in front of House. He looked down at her and smiled at the mischievous sparkle in her bright eyes. Pulling her against his chest, he lowered his head and kissed her again. He felt her tongue tangle with his and her nails dig into his back. Nipping at his lower lip, she pulled back.  
“Money,” she breathed.  
“Get it yourself, you little hustler.”  
She jerked him flush against her body. He could feel her firm breasts against his chest as she slid her hand in his back pocket. Her other hand cupped and squeezed his ass as she pulled his wallet out. She released him and stepped back. Opening his wallet, she pulled out the money and slipped it into her bra. She walked behind him and slid his wallet back into his pocket.  
“Think Wilson will date both of us?” House asked as she circled around and stood in front of him.  
“Care to make a little wager on that?” she asked with a grin.  
House smiled and felt the weight that drug him down for so long lift. The games worked and now he had something much more interesting to occupy his time, Cameron and Wilson.  
**THE END**


End file.
